Mummy… Hug

I’m a big fan of small crowds. Very funny right? Yes, small crowds. What’s a small crowd by my standards? I come from a family of 7, mum, dad and 4 siblings. However, it was never just 7 of us living together. We always had extended family and sometimes friends and even paid help living in the same house with us. I can confidently say we were never less than 15 people under the roof of our small 3 bedroom flat. It never felt crowded at all. Never. We enjoyed different activities together, we ate together, we worked together. My mom was big on neatness and cleanliness so the ‘work together’ part was very important. Gradually everyone grew up and we’ve all gone our separate ways but we are still closely knit together. My siblings and I keep in touch and talk almost everyday, and it’s the same for the others… Terhemen, Moses, Esther, Angor, Terhemba, Saalu, Imoter, Shimayam and so many more. Every now and again I find myself craving small gatherings like the environment I grew up in. I find joy in small friendly crowds of 10 or so.

In this big love we shared and still share,We didn’t hug. No, we didn’t. My family wasn’t (and still isn’t) a hugging family. This didn’t mean we didn’t love each other, I guess we just expressed our love in other ways, hugging wasn’t just one of the ways. We were more into loud hailings and high fives… Yeah. I never gave it a thought or see anything wrong with it till I grew up and started mixing up with other humans. I’ve learned that people have different ways of expressing love and affection. I also think it’s a learned behaviour. You are either born that way or you learn it from people around you.

My 8 year old is a complete hugger. He can just walk up to me and hug or when I’m busy and can’t see him coming for a hug, he just alerts me by saying “mummy, hug”. I think he has made me more open to others. Lately I’ve found myself hugging family and friends before thinking about it…that’s new. I think I like it. I feel less rigid.

4 thoughts on “Mummy… Hug

  1. Haha! Interesting the things we learn about us when we read about us. I think school made me a madt hugger. I am a very big hugger, especially because our family isn’t. Reminds me of one time when Verl and Auntie Mbadzuan were watching a football match and then the team scored – I think it was Nigeria – and they were so excited, stood up and hugged each other, then realised what they had done. The next second it was awkward with stifled laughter. I never forget that memory.

    Anyways, over to you. I noticed your huggliness and was going to mention it at some point. I remember that before it wasn’t so embracive but seems to be more inclusive now. And a memory comes to mind, of the time when I camped the night with you in Keffi. There was that love that was not so physical as is now. As in, we gisted and did much, did loud hailings and etc etc but nope, it ended there.

    Over the years, especially with us losing so many people and me thinking that I wish I had loved them a bit more aggressively, I tend to do more hugs and stuff like that. Some find it odd, like our male uncles, but the funny thing is they always giggle and smile. You can see the glow with them when we hug. And yes, the aunts too. Mumcy sef is on this table.

    Okay o, I don talk plenty. Seems my comment is even longer that your post. Hahaahahaha! God bless that Son for us, and his daddy, plus you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Only me. Only Mimi can reply a comment from October in December. Anyway I told you I’ve been unable to be in touch with my writing so I avoided this medium. I’m inspired to do something bigger with your comment. I have copied and stored it for future use.
      It is very touching.


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